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❄️ Snowstorm ❄️

As Spring yet approaches, I still can recall— The passion of my youth, the spirit of my fall, From innocence to impotence and gestures from the grave: Wherein I left the visage of my angel who would pray…. That warmth could melt the frozen limbs & times which now have passed, In absence now the words mean more than when I heard them last. She spoke to me, I cherish now what then I barely caught. Still wandering, inside my mind like someone who was lost. And were I spring I’d rush to melt the frost upon the ground And to exhume my own mistakes to speak to you but now— I have to wait and turn to ice, the absence left me cold, I still recalls the things I said and how I lost control. I swear it off and seek for change with chains around my throat, Those Summer days or was it Fall with circumstance of note… I know you’re there you wander still but I will not arrive, I seek for you inside the Spring and remain in your mind— If consciousness does yet persist, perhaps we’ll reunite— Upon ...

i know self-loathing isn't really the way to go

  I feel the cold & see the lights in the streets Below my window in my room sipping tea… I see reflections of the lights, I was feeling low. You find the night and then you lose it inside the snow. 8 months or 3 months it’s all a matter of time. To make peace with yourself and stars to realign. What I used to reject, I came to embrace. When I forgot who I was, the shame was erased. True self acceptance means what? At this point the evening is in my heart… True warmth masquerades at dusk And the lights around me conceal the stars. There is a snake coiled around my throat It winds its way in-between my teeth And in these distant lights I feel the hope And witness the lives of those I’ll never meet… This Monday evening is perfect, even though it’s Monday. And there was no one left nor a word that I could say… Whether I stay or part, I know the future holds a bliss, And now I would not go back even if I had a wish. I made peace with myself, on the final day of war. I made a final ...

the final night

I recall you but I can't find you I recall you but I can't see you... I feel you and forget what I knew. When my image kept glitching only you could feel truth. Laid to rest my heart's desire, Burn myself and touch your fire. Heart that sickens with malcontent. Chase your flame and singe my flesh. Mark my skin and tie my tongue.  We're preserved forever young. Stars above and flames below. Youth forsaken, frost and snow. Cry for you but I'm here alone. Ruined these songs that I used to know. Careful tests, I failed them all. Tightrope here and watch me fall. Visit me and brought a gift. Hated myself and fear persists. Stranger's hearts and shattered glass. Blood and bile, I wear a mask. Even then, I know you're true. I'm a fake- I'm not like you. Still preserved in evening's arms. Leave me here and then depart. All my lies, you saw right through. Evening came, you left so soon. In these memories, yet remain. In these memories, yet remain.